Saturday, September 09, 2006
i have decided to take the password off, really.
dunno what am i thinking now as well. abit irritated.
everyone has own problem i really dunno what i am thinking as well.
seriously i hate it. i really am considering of moving out and rent a room staying alone. its really an agony and pain. but i really feel so bad.
i hate the fact my mother has a gangster background. and it sucks!
why i see so many has such a nice family background and i dun have any.
i really dunno what i am thinking. and it really a pain.
i really hope i can be the one i use to be, a guy who know what he wants to do.
i want to be a guy who can get the best result and study so hard just to please his daddy and mommy.
i want to be the guy who use to have a daddy fetching us to school with a mercedes.
i want to be a guy who use to have his daddy and mommy to organise some secret birthday for him. instead of giving a choice having his birthday in ritz carlton, yet he chose to be in pizza hut.
i want to be a guy who always goes oversea for holiday, loving, sharing and having fun.
i want to be the guy who has a sister to take of, having the chance to share what he loves to do.
i want to be the guy who can buy whatever he wants, just by asking his daddy and mommy about it and has it.
i want to be the guy who has so much love from his parents. everyday being such a wonderful life.
and i just want a happy family.
i really miss those days.
i miss daddy, i miss mommy, i miss fionn.
i really want to say a sorry.
i really want.
i thought going to my grandma is the best choice, but i am wrong. its a love that really cannot be taken.
i know my grandma really gave me so much love, pamper myself so much.
there is a lack in love.
i really knows how bad it is to be a human. god is bullying me, why does he gives me such an ill fated life.
i tried to tell myself, i am lucky as i am not like the people whom suffered in africa.
but why!
i know even they suffer, they do have the things i dun have. that is love.
i really miss those days when he fetch me to school everyday.
i miss those days when they buy me my favourite games.
i miss those days when they give me so much surprises in my birthday.
i miss those days we had holidays.
i miss those days we had our joy together
i miss everything
but...
i should really have said that sorry.
that sorry changed my future.
if i had choose to say a sorry, i wouldnt be in the lousy school.
i wouldnt be so stupid.
i wouldnt be having such a hard life.
a sorry is something we need to really say frequently.
it is something that helps and wont harm.
haiz.
