i dunno wads going on actually.
but after wad happened yesterday.
it looks like its bothering her and lq alot =x
hmmm, really dunno wads going on man =x
hope everything bad can get off in her mind.
desmond, i really hope you can say out k?
and we can clarify everything.
i dunwan to see her sad serious.
it makes me sad too =(

o well, went to see doctor for checkup
crap lehs =x
the stupid poly clinic doctor anyhow refer me to skin centre.
then ended up paying 22 dollars for nth =(
but then still go there and got some acne cream and wash.
hope my acne goes off
o well actually its getting better..

going school now to pass my thumbdrive to alvin.
then go buy contact lens.
then tuition tonite.

o ya!
wondering if any1 can go below my cost?
i can get thumbdrive at 18 dollars per thumbdrive.
and i need to get an even lower one.
cuz i have a customer rite now wanted to buy 1200 PIECES of thumbdrives!
and he is a serious buyer.
hope i can get below cost then the guy who gave the lowest cost will split profit with me k? ^^

love you alot dear.
dun think about those things le k?
stay happy and we will be happy forever.
desmond will be fine one.

written at 11:40 am

ahh not really in a good mood =(
really not sure wad is happening to desmond.
not sure wads going on.
but she said he is abit wierd today
then lq said about him too.
haiz, hopefully everything gets better.
dear, dun think too much k?
hope desmond can share with us his troubles.

today got my new desk.
a new desk = prepared for my new com le. yay.
my room now looks small sia.
but very comfortable.
i got space to write and play.
put 3 computers also no problem.
hahas.

exam is coming also.
gonna study hard.
4 more weeks.
i flung my D fund paper.
=x
din prepare.
1st paper i flung sia =s
yr 1 like this.
die liaos. =(
i will work harder! FIGHT!

tml going to see doctor for medical check up to see if i can get any cure other than surgery.
hope surgery is not the choice =(

today i just realise i kena cheated in buying contact lens.
maybe the uncle see me newbie call me buy seline for rinsing =x
now i realise there is another solution for rinsing sia xD
and its like 3 big bottles for 4 dollars nia.
then selina just for overnight soaking =D
hahas.
then can use 2-3 months for seline.

going to get a new set soon.
6 months only 70 dollars.
cheap rite?
XD somemore i got astigmatism one wahaha.

this sat.
haiz
going to cousin's chalet.
like nth to talk sia =(
haiz heck care liaos.
got phone + psp = ultimate boredom killer xD

then next week national day eve -.-
going to celebrate with my cousin's son's 1st yr old birthday =x
hmmm wad present shall i buy for him?
Elmo?
heard he loves red xD

then next sat.
wahaha BIG DAY!
surprises awaiting for quek and geng wei.
hahas. =D
see got me this buddy best liao.
brothers for life.
hahas. BBQ Steamboat.
wonder this time who will give us face sia.

confirm going one is me, geng wei, quek, kelvin, eugene.
then i not sure liao x=
but kelvin sure can get more sia.
^^

this week a series of test =(
tml got 2 test sia.
then now i dunno how.
tml not going school =x
eff com change to thursday.
then e maths how sia =x
haiz.

o ya!
sold 3 thumbdrives
wahaha my record. xD
and alvin said he wanna buy too.
he better do it xD.

written at 1:52 am

hehe. everyday good mood -.-
i shall not blog too long xD
watch concert yesterday.
very enjoyable!
especially they sing laopO~
dedicated for u dear~

hahs its darn nice man.
then we went to tm to eat pasta mania.
dinner at 10 pm -.-
hahas.
that cheezy bacon pasta thinggi.
NOT NICE!
hehe.
then played daytona.
saw kaiming.
he dance.
piangs so nice!
hahas. the daytona machine suck leh.
soooo lousy =x
then i bang on her 2 times.
wahahas evil? XD
lalala~
but sh won the game =x
hehe
then sent her home.
xD
really memorable.
dear i love u soooo soooo much XD
then went back home.
cuz last bus -.-
so bo bian take cab =x
hahas
took cab gone back end up cant go in room.
cuz my ah gong eating.
then have to secretly go back when he slept -.-

well thats about yesterday

today.
hahas
wake up at 10 xD
then sit down listen song.
i downloaded fergie's london bridge and put as my ring tone. xD
like when someone call me.
the song starts like.
oh shit. oh shit xD
imagine ur parents call u.
they will say oh shit xD
haas
then went out for tuition at 2 x=
and wanted to go gym.
but too tired to go =x
so i only went to find geng wei.
had some rojak and nasi lemak =x
chat quite alot.
wanted to buy lens but shop not open.
do u think 6 months 70 dollars for 6 pairs of lens with astigmatism is cheap?
i not sure leh =x
ahhas
nth much to post also liaos.
all my happiness now given to her xD

love u~ <3
sleeping time xD

written at 1:24 am

hehe xD
happy happy happy~
i bought a new desk for my room!
wee~
its so much bigger now xD
6 feet long seh xD
then got L shape wahaha
then can get a new comp soon
new comp + new desk
hahas.
my room will be so much nicer
the table is black
and its made exactly same colour as my wardrobe. =D
so nice
the legs of the table also chio.
silver in colour.
same as my bed frame's legs xD
wahah.
its so perfect xD

well 16 more hours to play!
wee~
hahas
damn damn qi dai lah.
going to see s.h.e.
quan shi jie tou zai chang zhong guo hua xD
hahas.
aiya
this one not the main thing xD
tml can see her xD
hahas
she said she will be going out with sh first to tampines mall to find that dunno wad jay which sh's likes( sounds like a crush -.-)
hope sh can have good times with him.
cuz i also dunno her well xD
she said she going arcade = (
i want to go xD
i want play daytona with her = (
ahahs
want to play play play.
aiya
hehe, dunno how also.
she will be joining me at 3 pm for the queue to the concert xD
hahas.
hope she wont feel bored man. cuz i can say queueing is the most boring thing =x
hope she really have patient like me waiting xD
waiting for u (s.h.e)
im waiting for u (s.h.e)
wahahahs!
im so tired =x
-.-
seriously i fall in love with sunglasses sia.
after my 1st one broke.
i feel my 2nd one is so much nicer leh xD
nafiz tried it and its damn cool hahas.

see this? cool huh? xD
hahas. i mean the sunglasses is cool =D

well.
hahas really happy today.
but something is irritating me alot man.
tel, sometimes i really wanna say something.
please be more irresponsible please.
when i lend you my psp.
i expect everything back.
i treat u as a brother so i am willing to give u.
but doesnt mean that u should lend the game to ur friends without my permission.
im okie with it but just return me when u r done using.
cuz i really dun play fifa and i play more of winning eleven.
hope you understand wad i mean k?
i kept quiet cuz i dunwan to have a quarrel with u.
but its kinda bustard to do these stuff.
very upset by wad u did and dissapointed.
how can i trust u again if u want me to lend u.
dun say i din give u time.
i gave u 2 weeks of notice to get the stuff back.
but u still failed.
well no matter wad.
please be responsible. cuz all of us are brothers.
we dun hope to ps each other.
all of us, wx, gw, u, ab, kc and me are brothers.
hope u understand.


hmmm. xD
hahas. not going to think of that...
let me try out fifa now and ill go sleep xD
more stuff to be updated tml.

love u alwaes... <3

written at 12:31 am

thanks to her for finding me this blog xD. its bright and makes me feel so happy.
sunshine mood xD
really appreciate for wad she did


hmmm. hahas!
dunno why.
feel so happy.
thinking about after going for the 'extreme makeover'
i really cannot imagine how ill be man.
hahas
i definitely go for a new sports.
probably tennis xD
and of course ill make every sunday a trip to sentosa.
wahaha. i want to train in gym lots harder now.
will want to make myself damn fit + tanned..
woot~~~
so happy.
then sekali more girls come to me xD
hahas better dun say.
i only have 1 girl in my heart.
and she is always the 1 =D
ahahs.
this sat gonna meet her with her friend.
-.-
going to see s.h.e concert! woot!
hahas
from zhong guo hua to xie xie ni de wen rou to etc etc.
then to boom boom boom.
hahas wad i like most is shuo ni ai wo~~
and also LAOPO~~
hahas xD
and she likes the london bridge is falling down. ~~
so qi dai man xD
intending to queue there at 10 am.
since so near xD
just take bus 24 then reach le wahaha
or shall i walk there? as morning exercisexD
hahas.
just so happy leh.
wee~~

today whole day.
went to school.
skipped lecture xD
then saw chang chang at bus stop
then we went to printing centre to do my delivery
suay suay~ xD
saw quek at the lift.
he was sending his girlfriend to classroom~~ soo sweet~ =x
hahass
then he called me to eat together loxD
and we discussed about going to marina bay again -.-
hmmm. i guess im going to open a bbq instead and invite all.
hopefully py will go also xD ahhas.
nth must to post sia.
since so good mood.
dun really want to talk about the fking lecturer mrs. jacqueline kwong
but well u r really an ass.
since young my lao bei told me 3 pin plug just put inside can le
dun even need solder.
u damn extra lahs.
grrr~~ -.-
dun say le

xD

hahas

im still waiting for u.
i love u

written at 1:37 am

yawn.
now only 1.23am and i am tired le =x
hahas.-.-
called her today and she was chatting with des -.-
and she merge the call together with the call confronts thinggi.

then funny lo.
she was thinking of something till she gone sleep -.-
so cute sia -.-

then hor. me and des were like.eh? where is she.
hahas.

then we thought she put down the phone le...

hahas. ended up she woke up again. =x
shouldnt have called her to wake her up.
i think she must be very tired?
for the stitching she said she doing for me.=x

i feel so touched that she did this wor =x
its like so long girls never girl me things xD

hahas. aiya.
ill be making something for her as well xD
hehe. wad izzit?
secret xD

<3 love u 4ever.
even though both of not prepared for a real relationship.
im really happy that we still can continue like this.
i love u lots lots lots.
ill change for u. promised.
i believe one day we will definitely becum more than that <3

written at 1:22 am

wee~~
finally i feel the happiness i got back like wad it was.
seriously, last whole week i almost gone mad -.-
how i wish everyday is like this.
have her spending her time with me,
being more understanding.
see her laugh, see her smile.
it really makes me feel so good.

i have truely dissapointed her alot.
but i promise, even though i cant garenteed i wont make her sad.
but i will try my very best to make her happy and stay like wad we are right now..
i love you my dear.
and when you really am prepared for us to be together again.
i will definitely not think of anything and say a yes for you to be my girlfriend.~~
when you need me, i will definitely be there for you.

now im realy feeling so good xD
seeing you happy makes me really happy..
just very happy.

heee, really cant wait to see wads like you next.
i want you to be my princess.

always open~~

written at 1:21 am

hmmmm. i wonder who is ^^?
really thank you for your concern.
but my problems i dun think you know it.
its really very complicated and confusing.

its all about love...
i was shocked she called me in the afternoon to chat..
it hardly has this case after the 1st time we met out in marina.

today was a 'happy' day i suppose?
i seriously dunno why.
i felt much better than before.
after being able to shoot so many goals in winning eleven.
its been such a long time i gave these combos.

well whole day im doing nth..
really nth..
just chatting and playing winning eleven.
wanted to go jogging but ended up very tired.
my whole body is so tired now
no idea why.
is that a symtom of depression?
really hard to make myself happy.

haiz.
just now she suddenly ask me why is there chemistry.. (in love)
i also dunno how to answer.
but i tried giving the best answer out.
i also dunno lah =x

then she asked me wad type of girls i like?
i wanted to say the type similar to her?
but i really dunno how to say.
except that if she is more understanding, more willing to give in and of course if she spends time with me nicely.

i really dunno how to say.
but i seriously still love her.
love her + hurtful + miserable is wad i am now.
just please do not call me to give up.
thank you

written at 10:41 pm

today... went out with her again...
and she brought a friend and her 'korkor' with her and her didi.
then went to buy tickets.
erm, let me think...
the show is invisible target.
then we go buy the tickets.
then go to arcade there.
all were playing
but i really no mood in playing =(
dunno why lah.
keep feeling sad.
the whole freaking day sia.
haiz.
then go arcade..
sl was playing that dunno machine.
that u get the hook to make the bear bear out.
1 game is 2 dollars sia.
dunno how many he play.
i was thinking how many people actually won that lo
2 dollars 1 plate of chicken rice.
then if he play 10 plate
20 dollars!
omg, can get a converse bear sia.
even nicer =x
hahas.
then her friend was playing the drumming thing...
quite good bah.
i dun play arcade much. thats why i dun really know.
but see her always get combo.
should be very very good bah.
then when go in...
just as i thought.
i really saw carol.
she is still so pretty -.-
her eye is always that nice sia.
big big eye with long long eye lash.
not i like her.
dun misunderstand.
but i really like her eye alot. -.-
imagine if my girlfriend got such a long eye lash.
and big eye. stare at it so attractive lo.
aiya
but i really no feeling for her...
then went to say hi to her..

then go back to arcade -.-
then saw a few guys playing the bball machine.
very funny sia
all anyhow throw.
then not much scores lo...

haiz.
then we went to kfc to eat.
i really dunno how to talk to her.
really dunwan to irritate her.
and dunwan to make myself think so much.
so i brought my psp along to play and divert my attention from thinking those sad stuff.
lucky she brought her friends along to keep her accompany.
if not she alone will make her feel so upset more.

then we watched movie, she sat with her friends in front while me, des, sl and didi sit together due to seat spliting.

haiz.
totally sad sia.
i seriously also dunno how to continue like this.
i hope she get wad i mean.
love is really something that cannot be force.
if she really dun like.
dun be forced to say yes.
cuz you can still continue to say no.
and if you r being forcefully to say yes.
together will be happy?
i really dun think so...
people kept asking you cuz they want to know if you really have feelings for them already?
and ask you cuz they feel you start to have feeling?
seriously there is no such a thing call friendship love.
really dun have, if it exist in a bgr, there will never be happiness either for each of the party.
if there is friendship love.
then it is only to friends.
guys doesnt want anything more than the feelings you give.
its just simple.
we want to hear you saying i love you.
we want you to understand.
bringing people out in a date so frequently is really an insult.
love is about giving in.
really giving in.
if you dun have feeling.
just say stop le.
or you can pei yang the feeling.
i really dunno how to say.
but i really want let you know.

if that day i really am okie with ur conditions, i believe i will end up to be like you with your ex.
i really love you alot thats why im saying that.
i do not want to hurt ourselves, neither do i want to hurt you.
just do not say okie when you think its 'forced'.
u have ur women rights wad.
u can say they are harassing you wad.
so why worry?
its all whether you want or not.
i just hope you understand.
no one wants this ending.

ahh!! very luan!!!!!!! HELP!!! =(
i just hope you can be the type of girlfriend i want..
who both of us really love each other.
really thats wad love is about.
love is not calling friends out when dating.
love is not just spending time with each other, but also the attention given to each other.
love is giving in.
all those movies stuff.
if i am him, i understood you dun like to watch and i simply just wont call u.
and instead ill just go to my other friends to watch with.
its really small matter.
i really dunno how to say.
but i really love you.
i dunwan to hurt myself.
i want you to be happy.
wad is the best thing to do?
divert myself from getting ur attention.
thats wad all will do.

i really dunno...
why must all these stuff comes together.
i really hope i can go back to the past.
where you always call me and we spend the night together.
i really hope i can be like normal.
give you all my love for you.
i hope we can really understand each other well.
but i dun understand.
why isnt there a strong trust between each of us?
i seriously never lie to you much.
only white lies of calling you to sleep.
haiz.
its really too dissapointing.

i will really not bother you much.
i really dunwan this.
and i really hope you are as understanding as before.
the day we know each other.
i really have enough of this.
and i promise you i will really not disturb you or 'force' you into love.
ill just be there when you are ready.
really...
no more asking you to do stuff you dun like.

haiz....
i really dunno how. seriously.
i love her so much and i dunno how to continue.
she asked me why am i so troubled.
i really dunno how to tell her.
i start to get embarassed to tell her i love her.
i start to have no more courage after that event.
my life looks dull all again like wad happened a few years ago.
i want to tell her i love her, i felt troubled cuz i dunno how to make her happy.
i dunno how to love her. i dunno how to get wad she wants.
how??
many is calling me to give her up.
and i tried.
i really tried to.
but everytime i am doing that.
i really miss her.
its really very upset.
and the idiotic problems come at the same time.
ahhhh!!!! really stressed!!
awhile she treats me coldly.
awhile she treats me so nice.
why is that so?
i really dunno man.
is that a friendship to her? or is that love?


i will try to keep myself happy.
for as long you are happy.
i will respect you in everything you do.
good luck in your life. i love you

written at 12:41 am

haiz.. so sians. after i really very disturbed by what happened recently man.
i really dunno wad to do sia.
uncle now approved and want to sponsor me to go to do the surgery.
but i really dunno why.
at first i wanted to do it, so i can get rid of those weight problems i got in the past.
then can go to NUM, Zara, Topshop, GAP etc. to get the clothes i like alot sia.
can wear so nice. can go beach without worrying this and that.
haiz but its a crap man.

like this i will be going to spend that stupid loads of money.
which is my laopo ben leh =(
haiz.
now i also dunno how.
but i dunwan think so much le.
i want have that body xD!!
hahas.

she tml or sunday going out with me.. =.=
hopefully everything goes much smoother than last week
really too down last week.
now just recover from down syndrom...

i really start to fall in love with shopping...
bought a sunglass, swimming trunk, suntanning lotion, and aloe vera gel.=x
and and towel!!
hahas guess wad?
i was actually thinking of going to suntan...
hahas, really very emo?
self concious le =x
hahas...
want to get myself darker xD
aiya now all plans push off le.
i going to enjoy life.
really must keep myself happy.
xD
maybe i shall go buy a watch, bag and a new wallet xD

written at 1:04 am

haiz.. so sians. after i really very disturbed by what happened recently man.
i really dunno wad to do sia.
uncle now approved and want to sponsor me to go to do the surgery.
but i really dunno why.
at first i wanted to do it, so i can get rid of those weight problems i got in the past.
then can go to NUM, Zara, Topshop, GAP etc. to get the clothes i like alot sia.
can wear so nice. can go beach without worrying this and that.
haiz but its a crap man.

like this i will be going to spend that stupid loads of money.
which is my laopo ben leh =(
haiz.
now i also dunno how.
but i dunwan think so much le.
i want have that body xD!!
hahas.

she tml or sunday going out with me.. =.=
hopefully everything goes much smoother than last week
really too down last week.
now just recover from down syndrom...

i really start to fall in love with shopping...
bought a sunglass, swimming trunk, suntanning lotion, and aloe vera gel.=x
and and towel!!
hahas guess wad?
i was actually thinking of going to suntan...
hahas, really very emo?
self concious le =x
hahas...
want to get myself darker xD
aiya now all plans push off le.
i going to enjoy life.
really must keep myself happy.
xD
maybe i shall go buy a watch, bag and a new wallet xD

written at 1:04 am

hmmm.. recently someone asked me. wads life about?
i took a pretty long time to come out with this answer.
life is all about pursue for happiness.
we worked hard to get more money, then we will becum financially free and get wadever we need and want.
we worked hard to satisfy people around us, so we wont be pushed so hard again to make them happy. (im talking about studies. i hate it lah, totally not to my interest wad. but still have to study for the sake of showing them the diploma lo)
we work hard to get the best lifepartner to make ourselves stay happy.( yeah im talking about love. its really not easy to get a romantic relationship man.. really dunno how to make girls really know how to cherish me =x)
if got school got teach how to have a good life.. i sure will study hard sia.
sekali got PHd in Romance.
i really reading lots of articles how to make her like me more sia, and let her feel the 'importance' of me -.-
but its really hard sia.

1 main question to ask about love is.
wad is love?
in the 1st place do you understand wad is love?
seriously i dun.
my sis told me love is about of people giving in to each other to satisfy both needs.

this is what wiki wrotes
Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.[1] The meaning of love varies relative to context. Romantic love is seen as an ineffable feeling of intense attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships.[2] Though often linked to personal relations, love is often given a wider connection, a love of humanity, of nature, with life itself, or a oneness with the universe, a universal love or karma. Love can also be construed as Platonic love,[3] religious love,[4] familial love, and, more casually, great affection for anything considered strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, to include activities and foods.[5][2] This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the concept's depth, versatility, and complexity.

hmmm too long dun understand wad wiki is writing. kinda chim =x
but i took a pretty long time to wonder...

her ex boyfriends treat her like a friend.
i was really thinking.
if her ex treat her with a 'friendship bgr'.
does the guys really love her?
of toying her?

i really dunno man.
cuz i really feel its wierd.
if a guy loves someone, definitely they will show all their concern on her mah.
give her love by holding her hand, hug her, kiss her, make her feel she is the luckiest girl in this world.
but why in the 1st place they are so okie with a 'simple love'?
really have no idea man =x

sometimes see people doing that when shopping. really dunno is jealous or envy.
but really hope i can be like them too.
everyday happy days.
spend the lifetime with her.
bring her to explore the world together.

now i also dunno wad to do. 1 day after another.
make her happy, protect her, take care of her.
thats wad is the best i can do to be concern about her
really dunno when she will becum my girlfriend that is the type of relationship i want.
hope god is nice to me and let me have a happy life with her.
ill will be there for you whenever you need me.
ill try my best to keep you happy as much as i can.
ill try my best to protect you from being bullied by others.
irregardless if you are mine or others.
ill still be there when you need me.
i love you.

written at 6:30 pm

haiz. sometimes really dunno why this is it..
i really dunno how to say.
i dunwan to hear these stuff.
seriously everything takes time.
but i really dunno how long it will take. =(

but i really will wait.

lets start all over again.
from friends again.

i will show my most sincere side.
but its really up to her le.
cuz i really dunno how.
everlasting love needs to have both of us being understanding.
i hope she also can understand how i feel..
but i really appreciate that she at least is getting less cold to me.
hope we really can get this friend good and steady.
i will work hard on my body, my game chars, everything on me.
this coming 2 months holiday i will do alot to catch up le. XD

lets hope god is really good to me. cuz i really dunwan 1 after another 1.
very discouraging.
sometimes not having love is so good.
but whenever i see couples hugging and holding hands.
its so romantic =(
and i really hope i can be like them.
ahh. dun think so much le.
hope this coming body checkup declare that i am very fine and can get a cure with my problems.

oh yes. going like a friend doesnt mean i dun love her anymore. cuz well i really love you alot.
and its really alot.

i really dunno wad will happened to us.
but it seems like our interest seems to diverse abit.
but still, this is all fated.
i cannot control these.
its not i want also. really.
well. lets hope everything gets better.

got this song i wanna send u. very very nice... i will put it in ur friendster. hope you enjoy it. =D

by the way, someone said im EMO! =X god =(

wo zhi yao ni, wo ai ni

written at 12:44 am

hmmm. i really am the most stupid guy in this world.
she wants to accept me man! but why in the hell now then i catch it = (

im really slow. and i really din read properly.
why should this happened =x

dear im really very thankful that you accepted me as your boyfriend.
and the thing is i really misintepreted wad you have said.

basically wad you want is u want me to be ur boyfriend and at the same time and also want to be your best friend rite?

and you dunwan me to keep talking to you those mushy stuff..
i really din know.

im really sorry that i thought you said you want just to be friends but very forcefully you be my girlfriend you see.

im really happy to see that you accepted me. i was really saying wrong stuff and ended up i say being friends is better. for of course i really would want you to be my girlfriend cuz i really love you alot. its really fated that this things happened cuz im was really heaty after such a bad sleep and tiredness after coming home from gym u see.

i really appreciate that you have give in to accept me. i really did not expect you will accept me cuz wad happened on saturday was really confusing. i love you alot and now i know you do too.

it is really okie we continue like this. a very very close friend/ buddy + the fact that you r my girlfriend k?

of course we can joke around like usual cuz thats wad i want as well. the fun and jokes we had in the past.

remember the song liang san bo and juliet?

i really hope we can sing together again like wad we did in the past.
the chemistry between us.
it was really memorable my dear.
i will really never forget. even though we anyhow sing but its really funny XD
here is the lyrics =D

歌词:梁山伯与茱丽叶
作词：曹格　作曲：曹格　编曲：涂惠源　演唱：卓文萱/曹格

曹：我的心唱首歌给你听　歌词是如此的甜蜜
　　可是我害羞我没有勇气　对你说一句我爱你

卓：为什麼你还是不言不语　难道(是)你不懂我的心
　　不管你用什麼方式表明　我会对你说我愿意

曹：千言万语裡　只有一句话能　表白我的心
卓：千言万语裡　只有一句话就
合：能够让我们相偎相依

曹：我爱你　你是我的茱丽叶　卓：茱丽叶
　　我愿意变成你的粱山伯
合：幸福的每一天　浪漫的每一夜
卓：把爱　　曹：永远
卓　不放开　曹：I Love You
卓：我爱你　你是我的罗密欧　曹：罗密欧
卓：我愿意变成你的祝英台
合：幸福的每一天　浪漫的每一夜　美丽的爱情祝福著　未来

im really very sorry for with these misunderstanding. and i really dunno wad will happened to us in future. and i have really know wad you want.
and i really respect your decision.

and now i really dun mind the fact that you wants to bring ur friend along while we go out. cuz it makes you more comfortable. and im really comfortable with them too. really.

i was not comfortable at the beginning cuz i fear im not going to know you better and ur friends might not like me too.
but looking at the situation. it seems we are really having fun rite? but only thing is, they have to pay themselves for their food and stuff lah XD cuz i dun print money wad xD.

hmmmm. actually i dunno you will read or not.. but i got a feeling you will xD.
since you dunwan me to say to u. i just blog here and hope you see this post xD. you can act you din see, but i really love you alot + u r my best friend u know? cuz basically every secrets u also know =x

hope you really read this okie? xD hahas.

written at 11:31 pm

hmmm. well should say its yesterday since its already 3 am saturday now.

i went out with her and a few friends.

when seen her i gave her a gift i promised to gave her last time.

damn sad lah, she tried to reject leh = (

why must she like this sia..

she promised me she will take then still tried to reject = (

that gift is actually a ring i bought for her when i got my 1st pay =x

then its inside a box of chocolate from chocs =x

actually wanted to melt the ring inside a chocolate one.

but the it takes more a few days to make it = (

thought can be immediate one. haiz.

but lucky lah, she at least got take it.

but sadly leh. the way she take like not appreciative =x

she takes the bag and swing around lo..

the chocolate inside =x keep swinging sure will break apart.

like swingin my heart sia and wants to break it =x

haiz.. = ( but i know she already have seen it before going home lah..

thats why its like.. she is doing it on purpose to tell me she don like the gift?

i also dunno lah. = (

well,

went to bugis to have seoul garden =x

spend lots of money on it...

today swipe cards like drinking water sia =x

haiz.

but then still dun feel heartach.

at least i know wad she's thinking already.

from my heart... i know the best answer le...

and also expected that outcome...

haiz...

we met around at 3.45 pm..

then waiting for desmond to turn up.

its my 1st time meeting desmond.

he is tall...

and pretty good looking...

i feel so stress when i talk to him sia..

cuz he is soo tall and so much better than me.

feeling emo again. = (

well, desmond is really quiet sia...

all the way she and lq has been suaning her. cannot stand laughing.

and he is like those quiet quiet dun dare say anything one lo.

and hor he keeps calling and smsing sia...

and eat alot alot of meat x=

very funny of him lah.. very nice guy i can say.

cuz he dun dye hair, no ear studs, no smoking.

a very innocent guy.. =D

after eating...

then we just shop shop shop.

but then shopping like just strolling, there is nothing to do lo.

and then want to talk to her. she avoid me sia!

haiz.. see this pattern is like confirm die already.

i dunno wad she thinking also lah..

but she also did talk to me..

like a normal friend i think. = (

why must like this lo.. haiz. seriously i feel so hopeless le lah.

haiz..

after the strolling, lq left to find her parents.

i was abit shocked sia..

she decided to pei me go watch movie..

i mean probably not pei me bah but desmond( her brother)

cuz everytime i ask her go watch movie, she just dunwan.

haiz..

wanted to watch in shaw bugis. but that aunty super guai lan sia..

says no ticket also no need give a dulan face rite?

haiz...

then ended up going to watch in suntec..

took a cab from bugis to suntec. cuz i know she dun like to squeeze a train with other people.

hee~~

then took a cab.

how i hope she can sit with me wor.

but then i have been pushed to sit in front =x

haiz = (

then we stop at raffles city.

then walk all the way to suntec city and got 4 tickets and watched harry potter and

the order of phoenix..

that show super sian man!

i din even watch the 2nd 3rd and 4th epi.

call me watched the 5th one i see le also confused = (

while waiting for the movie to start. super bored sia..

all keep quiet

like nth to say...

i dunno wad she thinking..

but she seems like want to avoid me?

i also dunno..

but talk awhile she just walk off..

if not she just see things and din listen to wad i say = (

haiz..

very dissapointed lah..

then walk walk walk..

ended up went to walk to starbucks for a rest..

then had mango fruit punch ice blend there =X

its abit sour. but refreshing.. =D

at there sit down and do nth.

then after awhile we just walk off..

when going off, she forgot to take the gift sia..

imagine in front of me putting that thing and forget..

shows another fact that she doesnt like it..

haiz. =(

but lucky desmond reminded her to take..

cuz really very sad sia. = (

that thing if really gone..

its like, my heart put there and throw into the rubbish.

sad lah =*(

then finish le desmond very funny.

cuz he uses prepaid card..

so no choice have to buy prepaid card..

actually i want go fountain there sit sit..

then we walk walk walk...

ended up walk to golden village since so many shops dun sell.

then golden village in marina square got the axs machine. so use the machine to top up for him =D

then walk back to eng wah and just nice the show starts..

again..

i hope i could sit with her sia..

but she pushes her bro to sit with me = (

its like i sit at the corner

me - her brother - her - desmond - others

i was like

haiz...

why must she do that..

but then i nicely asked her by smsing to her if she can change seat with her bro..

but she dunwan and called me change..

then i change with her brother...

the brother funny sia!

sleep until snore in the cinema =x

then i was like seeing her all the way in the cinema sia..

cuz i really dun understand harry potter at all.

and dun find it nice..

then dunno why..

the cinema is really cold sia..

my hands are like trembling..

and i dunno wad to do lo.. = (

too bad her brother is sleeping..

then i got no one to hold my hand to help me get back to the original body temp sia..

the cold is like those piercing coldness when u get sick leh = (

and i cant do anything lo = (

then i was thinking if i can call her to hug me and hold my hands...

since she said she will do that in the past...

but then she gave me an answer of her leg cramp, want to rest...

i feel very awkward sia. haiz = (

think about this, does holding her hands means she cant rest?

hugging her makes her more uncomfortable as well?

sad sia = (

its just like she is rejecting me lo..

i cant say much..

whenever i see her, she just gave a friendly smile = (

haiz. also cant do much le..

this is fated.

i really love her alot alot alot..

but wad else can i do?

nth much..

cuz i really dunno how..

ask me spend money on a girl is very hard..

but i can force myself to spend money on her without feeling heartach lo = (

haiz...

she promised me she gonna give me an answer de..

and now she gone sleep without giving me an answer..

haiz

i also dunwan ask her anymore..

i dunwan to force her..

cuz forcing is never happy

and i know she just have no feelings for me.

why must tell me she likes me last week..

makes me so high hope, makes me so happy..

at first i dun believe but why must tell me she will accept me

then now like this happened = (

god u suck man..

seriously why must u write such a WONDERFUL story line for me..

why must i have such a 'good' fate..

so good i have to worry about money when i dun have money problem..

so good that i get rejected so many times.

so good to let me get my heart breaks.

in the 1st place why must everyone pray of u when u r the one giving people good and bad life..

we just simply do anything wad.
= (

haiz...

i really dunno sia..

why must i love her?

why she treats me like a friend when she said to me in the past this and that...

all the shattered hopes really form a deep scar in my heart..

really painful.

and i am pretty sure this scar is very hard to get healed like last time.. = (

well..

i really dunno man.. = (

love is really the suckiest thing in this world..

if we can not think of love like the monks..

its really wonderful..

the world will be so peaceful..

everyone will not see people this and that..

haiz...

i really must not think of it le..

i really dunno wad will happen in the future le..

but i know wad i have hear is all words.

really no emotions in it = (

even though i hope my jiejie is wrong, but still again she got the answer right = (

i really dunno lah haiz...

but i can feel she really has no feelings for me = (

really discouraging..

haiz.

just hope everything gets better.

but i really have a word i hope i can say.

that is if she doesnt like any1.. best is do not say anything about love the guy or like the guy or wad to do any stuff.

cuz no one cannot take it like a joke..

haiz.

written at 3:04 am

Odds
Accept 1:1.30
Reject 1:1.32

grrr.

i really dunno which to buy on. i have put all my heart and effort on accept i think.
hopefully rejection is lesser.

well win or lose its all fated. i just support accept.

jia hao jia hao. may the force be with YOU! and also dun think so much PLEASE!

written at 2:48 am

i guess this is getting somehow really wierd.
i really dunno wad to do.
all i know is confusion.
awhile i feel im full of hope
awhile i feel im totally hopeless
im like going to be mad. no joke

i cant wait for saturday to come.
she promised me she gonna give me an answer on that day
and i have something special for her.
but the thing is, why must desmond suddenly back off and now left me alone.
i seriously dunno how.
she herself also dunno if we shall go on or postpone to other day
which i really already cannot wait.
but i also dun dare to get it to the day.
if she says no.
how am i going to face her?
the war is losing, my heart will hurt.
how long will it take to recover?
i am pretty sure its long.

i really cannot take it if she is going to say no
but i really have to take it
i only know now, this will be the very last time im going to ask her.
i know this is fated. if we are meant to be together
we will be..

i really dunno if i will get rejected.
somehow i feel im with hope becuz of her telling me that i have to believe
believe that the day she told me she starts to like me is not a comfort but a real thing?
i really dunno
and also she told me her friends are all supporting me to get her be my stead?
wierd huh?
really feel high in hope whenever i think of these.

but then its always people telling me that she is trying to play with me
except one of which is when she said she love me, wanna do this and that. she is thinking of someone and not me even though she is talking to me...
i really believe in her.
and i dunno wad to say
but if she does like me, why both of us cant continue when i asked her last time?
its kinda discouraging.
also, she keeps telling me about other guys chasing her as well.
and the people all said are like so much more talented than me =(
her ex boyfriend looks good, has fashion sense. got wadever she wants.
perfect man.. except thing is he is flirt =(
still got her cousin's friend. and a few more i hear and i feel. its really wierd. =(

ahh, no matter wad. i have to face this. its this world. =(
i just know i want to hold your hand till death
i wanna you let me hug.
i wanna have you to let me share my sorrows with.
i just know i need you.
right now there is really no one better than you
you are the sweetest girl in my heart right now.
you are the best of the best i have seen.

i just hope everything gets sorted out.
no matter wad your answer be, i will want face it as a fact.
i love you

written at 2:01 am

i am confused! tell me wad i should do pls pls!

grr, its going to be 3 months!
really 3 months soon u know?
i really dunno wad to do to give my final shot to ask her to be my girlfriend. even i tried.

i still remember the 1st time i know you.
the day you called me.
i find it kinda ridiculous that you called me just to say wad you want.
but its really interesting in the way u expressed.
i see there is a chemistry behind.
somehow i dunno why. is is becuz i really love u?
its always the same case.
is that a fact that all girls are always like that?
they treat u good, making u start to fall in love with her?
but actually thats the fact how girls treat to guys?
its like too close already bah...
i remember last time...
all the ways till now.
there has never been 1 successful one...
why huh?
its just so irritating lahs. =(
izzit when you love a girl, you love her so much that you are willing to do anything you like?
izzit when you love a girl, you will really stop thinking how she look and never see the girls other than her?
seriously its a big doubt. i tried my very best seriously. and i dunno wad will go on it its like this?
love is something that is like a war man. a game of win or lose.
it kills ur heart it you lose and it makes you have the luxury of spending time with her if you win.
seriously i dunno why im always in the losing battle.
and it is so hurtful.
heart is so painful all the time man. =(
i really hope that girls out there can really remain a distance if she takes a guy only as a friend and dun give the guy high hope.
cuz it really dissapoint more. really much more than anything.
i really dunno wad im thinking now grrr.
confusion around my brain now!
its just getting so irritating
studies, work, loves, everything!
why must human always face stress?
why do we have to source for a life?
why r we always being tempted to have these luxuries?
why must we always like someone?
why cant god just give us a dull relationship?
why must there by god in the 1st place?
why are we always controlled?
i seriously doubt my life..
i dunno how it will be.
i love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love heri love her

and no joke! i really love her.
i seriously dunno she is trying to comfort me or wad?
i also dunno how to present my 'secret weapon' to her
its just so irritating.
why its always the last step that im stucked!
why in the hell do i have to face this sia!
haiz
i dunno i am happy or moody rite now. awhile i am happy awhile im moody
it swings faster than anything.
grrr
i seriously dunno if i can make it
will she accept me
will she says no to me?
will we still be friends even after she rejects me?
will we no longer talk to each other again?
its just going to be mad!
i really wanted to give up.
but here finally she gave me high hopes by telling me she starts to have feeling
WHY!?
i really dunno how to continue man.
will it be embarassing?
she s gonna bring her friend man
how in the hell am i going to get her to the corner to talk alone when her friend always stick with her and am not willing to be alone with another guy friend.
this is just like GRRRR??
wad shall i do the next step?
i took alot of time to think wad i shall do to win the war.
but but! really blank!

haiz, life is full of stress. and its not wad we want.


















i love you
i want you
i need you
please accept me

written at 9:45 pm

I seriously do not understand why.
Why is love like this?
Why is it always so much trouble to go through in love?
Why the hell do we have to love someone even though we tried avoiding?
Why are we so tempted in a relationship?

This world sucks man, seriously I hate the fact why do I have such a bad fate?
From the start I know u, why am I made to like u so much?
Why am I made to think that you are the girl who is to be with me for so long, and why in the hell did you want to make her let me like her so much.
When u seriously dun like me anymore, pls! Stop saying so much stuff to me. I really dunno wad to do.
AHHHH!! IM GOING MAD!
There is no longer any1 who I can share my words with.
I miss the days when I am still in RMT, the days I can share my thoughts and stuff to poh teck. Damn irritating, its not that I dunwan to study. I just cant find the key to unlock myself.
Now im in another fucking course ETCM, why in the hell do I have to know these irritating lecturers. I seriously hate u. its not the fucking fact I dunno how to do my stuff k? I am a really busy person who has to work and study. I know I cant juggle so much but I need money! My grandma’s birthday is coming and so wad? I need to buy her stuff k?
And here comes the girl I like so much. I seriously love you a lot. Dear, all along I dunno why this is happening. We merely know each other for 2 months and this is wad its happening?
I really dunno wads its between us. You said you love me, you said you wants me to take care of you. You said if no one is with me, you will be by my side for the rest of my life. But why? U r here by my side to hurt me? Why in the 1st place do I have to know u? why is god so cruel? Why in the hell did u call me at that moment? Why does god make me such a person?
Why am I a failure when I really work so hard. People say I have 50 yrs more of life to spend but why in the hell do I seem to have only 5 more yrs?
I know I am no longer as healthy as usual, but why in this fucking world does god wants me to pay so much for health and stuff?
I dunwan to be poor neither do I want to be so unhealthy. U fucking gave me a lousy lung and liver, and that’s why I am now in this situation. But for fuck sake, why the hell does it have to lead me into being fat and stuff. I tried to control the diet intake and stuff. But why in this world do I have to work harder?
Why I am I born like this? Why I am not given a life of wad the rich asses have? Why cant I be born handsome and smart at the same time? Why do I have such a lousy family? Why do they make me so stress? I hate this world I hate this world. Its never nice to say that much. I love you so much too but what is it with now between you and me? Why do you take how I am? I know im fat, pls stop saying that im not or try to console me. I HATE CONSOLATION PLS! U just make me feel so sick and let me feel that you are my guardian angel. I dunwan to have any guardian angel anymore! I rathered be a monk or wadever shit that is. And I seriously now is hating love so much. 18 yrs of life, 18 yrs of suffer. I hate my father, I hate my mother. I hate god for taking my mother away and give me such an arrogant fucking father. I hate him. I have this world! Seriously there is no where I can vent my anger now except here. I dunno how to say but It sucks when I get nothing to do.
I love you a lot but I really dunno wad I am to u now. I dunwan to hurt my life again.
Dun make me feel so good and spend you night with me please. If you dun love me at all. Please dun say all those stuff that you love me or wadever that is. I am really sick now. I really see no point now. really! No point. If u r happy, ill be happy. Meaning if you are happy to be with yourself. I will not disturb u. there is no need for us to talk anymore. The more we talk, the more we have nothing to say. And now Im just going to stop everything.

written at 4:21 am

simple me
i just want happiness
money, love, and freedom keeps me happy~
loving a girl alot rite now
really love her
18 yrs old now
still 'single'
studying in TP
happy days xD



love py~
love money~
love to be loved~
love S.H.E~
love when i look good~
love when im not left out~



hates when she ignores me xD
hates when im being fooled so hard
hates people shoot me so badly
hates people who hates me
hates people who dispise people of different class
hates the fact i think alot
hates when i cannot control myself not to worry


have her to be with my life 4ever~
a car
a house
a family
a new bag
a new sunglass
a new handphone
a new com
a new room
wish i can stay happily 4ever. thats wad i want most